Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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