watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
