I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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