Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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