i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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