I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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