So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
