that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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