Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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