I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
