she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
