Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
