new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
