dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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