So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize