I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
