I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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