i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
