Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
