1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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