this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i dont even know how to be here
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
