I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
