If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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