Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
