I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
