I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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