its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
