i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
