he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
