i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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