If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
