I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
