"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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