I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
