I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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