I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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