Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
