I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we're making bets on your personal life
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Randomize
