well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
