Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
where am i from again
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I got inside last night via doggy door
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
