I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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