What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
