the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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