***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
