The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
