Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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