so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
