is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
