I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
