the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
