If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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