The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
