she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Church boner. Awkwardddd
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
