garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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