Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
