I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
