If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
