Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize