I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize