I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
