We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
