Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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