I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
