I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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