Ambien. No doubt about it.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
